Betty Mermelstein

Enjoy My Short Humor (sample below) at this link.

Blunder at the Bar

    It was with effusive confidence that Ken entered the upscale bar at the Smiling Tiger and chose his seat next to an attractive brunette.  Better than her attractiveness, she was sipping a glass of wine.  I hit the jackpot, Ken thought.  He was one of a dozen people who had sat in on a wine tasting class the day before.  No one knows a subject better than someone who has just been schooled.
     Ken played it cool and ordered a glass of Merlot, presumably ignoring Miss Jackpot. He proceeded to hold his glass up to the light, nodding to himself in satisfaction after seeing the brilliance and clarity he was looking for. Next came the swirl. Holding the stem, he moved the glass in circles and examined the effect.  He decided now was the time to show his accumulated facts about vino.
     “I couldn’t help but notice,” he began to the woman, “that yours is really full-bodied.”  He flashed a toothy smile for extra effect.
     “I beg your pardon?” she retorted, snapping her head around.
     “As they say, the heavier the alcohol content, the heavier the legs,” Ken continued.
     “Whaaaaaat? You better apologize or say something that I’m gonna like!”
     Ken was taken aback by her reaction to his reference to the streams of wine that fall down the glass after swirling it.  They’re called legs.
     He tried once more.  “I see you’re drinking a dry red wine with tannins that cause puckering.”
     She left Ken wondering if he should pair the fruity, acidic beverage that was streaming down his face with some lamb.

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